Attuning to your 'window of tolerance'
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
When being more emotionally present is a struggle, becoming more aware of what is happening in your body in the moment is a good place to start to increase your awareness of your emotional state.
This is referred to as being grounded, and it starts with noticing what is happening in your nervous system.
Sympathetic branch activation
The sympathetic nervous system state is like the accelerator revving up the engine. It activates a high-energy state in us. However, if we stay in this state for too long, we can put strain on ourselves and can eventually move into an overactivated state called hyperarousal.
Activation can look like: energised, focused, ready for action
Dysregulation can look like: shallow breathing, agitation, trouble focusing, irritability, anger, tense muscles, difficulty sleeping
Hyperarousal can look like: overwhelm, panic, urge to fight or flee, hypervigilance, flashbacks
Parasympathetic branch activation
The parasympathetic nervous system state is like the braking action in a car, slowing down the engine and stopping. It activates a low energy state in us. This can be calming and energy conserving but can also act as an emergency brake, which can put us into a shutdown state called hypoarousal.
Slowing down can look like: slowing heart and breathing rate, sense of calm and relaxation
Dysregulation can look like: trouble concentrating, lack of enjoyment, sleepy, numb, foggy brain, disengaged
Hypoarousal can look like: shutting down, strong need to withdraw, detachment, dread, freeze, dissociation
Throughout the day, each of us moves between these nervous system states, mostly outside of our awareness. Whilst some dysregulation is normal as we respond to the challenges and needs of our environment, if we spend too long at the extreme end of either state, it can negatively impact our physical and mental health.
There is a healthy range around the middle of this spectrum, which is called 'the window of tolerance'.
Introducing the window of tolerance
The window of tolerance is a term used to describe the zone of arousal (physical/emotional) in which we can function optimally in our day-to-day lives. Within our window of tolerance, we can take in experiences and information from our environment and respond to them without completely withdrawing or feeling overwhelmed.
Our window of tolerance is unique to each of us and will vary according to the events and circumstances we are experiencing. Our window of tolerance might be narrow, which means we get easily dysregulated and move more quickly to the extreme ends of the spectrum, or it might be wide, which means we can tolerate some dysregulation and can then return quite quickly to a settled state.
Our window of tolerance can change from day to day, or even moment to moment. For example, feeling tired, hungry, or sick often narrows our window. Bear in mind that a situation that slams our own window shut might not affect someone else in the same way.
For instance, while one person might easily tolerate a raised voice in conflict, another person could feel quickly derailed by raised voices to the point that they have the urge to walk away or respond with a raised voice themselves.
One person might be fine switching off during a bout of illness, whilst another person might find they can't tolerate the forced inactivity and extreme fatigue, and they slip into a deeper state of depression and detachment.
When we are able to pay attention to our own particular pattern of dysregulation, then we can spot the warning signs, which often show up as sensations in our bodies, indicating that it is time to use strategies to bring us back into our window of tolerance or make other adjustments in our lives.
Understanding the balance between the stressors and resources at any given point in our life is key to tracking whether our window of tolerance will expand or contract, and this is a helpful way to recognise patterns that are contributing to feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated.
